Hired hand

Just when I had accepted the fact that I wouldn't get the writing job, it's coming around again.

After thanking my potential employer for his time and telling him that I was more interested in writing than modeling, he came back with a specific number so I could "get in on some of the writing parts." I'm glad he's re-offering what he passed on last week, but now I'm just plain confused.

I've wondered if my quote was realistic, or if I got too pumped up with questions of "my worth" or "the worth of my time." But I honestly don't think I'd change how I handled these interactions. As a freelancer, dealing with an incessant amount of changing variables is probably the norm. It's good practice for me to have these situations arise, and very good practice to gauge what exactly I want from them. In the past, I would have said, "Yes!" to anything, stretching myself thin in order to cross off these 'busy-work' business items off my task list. I'm realizing now that I don't simply want to be busy. I want to feel balanced. And whether than means I'm getting as much as I give or simply learning enough to keep my footing solid for the next baby step, then so be it.

Practice....practice....practice.

The Face That Launched...

I agonized over what to charge for a possible freelance writing gig and maybe I should have saved myself some time.

After discussing what I imagined would be a fair rate with colleagues and my (former editor) husband, giving myself permission to value myself at 30 cents a word, and sending my rate to the potential client, I was "respectfully declined."

However, instead of researching and writing content for an instructional booklet, was I interested in posing for its cover?

Huh?

I was (and am probably still) confused. I had not discussed modeling work with the client before. I answered his ad for a writer. During our face-to-face meeting, we spoke only of writing. And I was totally honest with him about having limited experience with this type of writing. I asked if he had any questions for me. I asked him about his comfort levels. I did not imagine mine would be so effected.

Naturally, I'm flattered. Somebody thinks I'm attractive enough to be on the cover of his book. Maybe even attractive enough to sell some of those books. But that same person doesn't seem to think I'm smart enough to write those books.

I thought about it most of the day. I thought about the opportunity at hand. At a time when people are looking for work, someone was offering me a job where all I had to do was smile. This was positive.

I also thought about working with someone whose expectations are unclear and unpredictable. When we met he did not talk about money. He wanted me to come up with a number and get back to him--which he refused and turned around to ask if I wanted to pose for a photograph. "Unpredictable" and "pose" are not words I like to associate when pondering a potential job offer. This is not positive.

So I guess I won't be a model anytime soon.

I'd much rather be a writer anyway.